April 16, 2010

Thank you Grandholm!

Alright. No craft post today. I will, how ever, tell you about my wonderful day yesterday.

So, Thank's to Granholm, Michigan has this nifty thing called Plan First. For those of you who don't know. I have a hormonal imbalance, angry uterus, and periods from Hitler's death camps. So, this Plan First thing gives me free 'Lady Exams' and birth control. Even covers Plan B, sterilization,  and abortions. I was on the pill for a while, until I was kicked from out insurance. So, since January, I've been playing the ' When is my horrid period going to start' game. Not fun.

So, My first exams. I went to the Doctors. My appointment was at 11:15. I got in at 11:35. I love the waiting game.... So, Weight. Hight. Then into the room. My blood pressure was horrid. I know it. My heart was racing. Then she couldn't find my pulse. I swear, it just proves I'm a zombie. And thats why I love them. Its because I am one, and they're my kin. Anyway. So I start cracking jokes. The person was an intern. And she was stale as high school cafeteria bread.  Then I had to pee in a cup. I'm girl. And I'm a little round. Fuck. And I just pee'd like 30 minutes ago. I squeezed what I could.  Then she tells me to get naked and put the gown on, and a white sheet to cover myself. I thought, maybe if I put the sheet over my head, I could get out of this.

So, then. I wait. 30 fucking minutes. I'm about to die. I was about to get up and leave, and then bitch someone out, then the real Doc comes in. She's nice. I love her, she's been with me when I've had all these problems.  We talk about how my family doesn't have any cancer, but uterus (uteruses?) that hate the world. She asked how my last pill went. It was like the Holocaust in my vagina. She asked me what I wanted, I told her. She wrote me 2 prescription in-case one wasn't covered. Then its go time.

She has me lay back, then like rips my thingy open. I was like uhhhhh. She she did a boob exam. I made a a save the tata's joke. She laughed. Then she has me have my ass hang off this table, and put my ankles on these things. She has me lay back and try to relax. I laughed.  Then she took out this like plastic vagina jaws of life. I though. Oh God, this is going to break me. She puts it in, and goes to town. And the only thing bad about it, was the va jay jay jaws of life. Cervix scrapping? Piece of cake. Pelvic? Piece of pie. Turns out, I do have a tilted uterus. Thanks Mom. D:<.

So, I got on the pill I want. Every 3 months baby! They also should be light. woo!! So, all you girls fretting out there, its soooo easy, and its sooooo not a huge deal.

Now after my great wall of text I give thee Smudge, and a little Hairry. Our Sphynxes. Hairry is Mom's Smudge is Dads! and She IIS SOOO CUTE!!

Smudge! lookin all cute! Best friends :)
Smudge!

17 comments:

Your Mom said...

I love how you get through all of this with such a sense of humor. Love you girl and glad your Ladies Exam was easy for you.

MrsWhiffin said...

How gorgeous are those furbabies!

I can't believe that you have to pay for Birth control in the us, its free for everybody in the UK good old NHS!

Luna said...

Well, yeah, we have to pay, if we don't have insurance. Which, most of us don't here. Thats cool that you have free BC in the UK. I think we should here. Free BC means less Mom's on well-fare.

And they're fur-less babies :P

Crafty_Witchy_Girl said...

Hi! I am craftywitchygirl and I am one of your swap-bot partners for the swap I want more blogger followers!

Cute Kittens!

Rochelle said...

Sounds like an intersting day. Always one I don't look forward to. I am now a follower of your blog. stampkrl from swapbot.

Mara Spires said...

MaraSpires from Swap-Bot's "I Want More Blog Followers" stopping by as a new follower :o]

Zoƫ said...

posts like this make me want a pet so bad!

I am following you as a part of the swap bot swap "I want more blogger followers" and my username is strandedhero.

Vicky said...

Oh my, the little kitty is so cute! I make paper beads too! I had a lot of fun putting them together!

This is Vic5ive from Swap-bot I want more blogger followers.

Five Little Crafty Birdies said...

Hi I am here from swap bot. Great blog!

Kay B.Elle said...

KBL from Swapbot now following :-)

James Moriarty said...

Hello! I'm maferu from swapbot :D from the 'I want more blogger followers swap' !

man i love your cat

NoodleBubble said...

New follower from SB
noodleBubble- looking forward to a read! X

Abigail Leigh said...

What cutie pies!!! Meowserific!!

Abigail20 from Swapbot "I want more blogger followers"

Coleen said...

Pretty kitties.I"m following. Would you follow on my blogs?
http:vintageterrace.blogspot.com/
http:franksukraine.blogspot.com/
Thanks, Coleen Franks Swap-Bot

squareby said...

Cuteness at the end. The rest of it - wow that sucks. Following you - squareby from SB.

Susan said...

Hi, I'm susan from swapbot (luv2swap). First time here, enjoyed my visit.

The fur-less babies are adorable!

Thea said...

Glad your Ladies Exam went well. My last one was horrible. It's a pretty important exam though.

I'm fibrous on swapbot, and I'm now following your blog.